Trend Review Wednesday 23 March

Ranting Writer, ladies and gentlemen.

OIOIOIOIOIOI TWITTTTTAAAAAH

What’s the scoop here?  Why are you so bad to us? Three days we’ve been back, twitter, three days.  Why do you treat us like something you’d reject at a bring-and-buy sale? It’s not on, really it’s not.  We deserve better.

OK, fair enough, @mr_grimshaw was online at the start of trending.  OK, some tweets with the trend were directed at him in the beginning, we’ll give you that.  OK, and some tweets did have his name in them, that is also correct.  OK, and we didn’t have huge numbers at the start.  But apart from all that twitter, what did we do that was so bad?

And I’ll tell you what else you can knock right on the head, twitter.  You can get your backend sorted out sharpish.  You heard me.  Poor Cave Dweller was there, trying to run numbers for their Printouts of Doom, and exited the Cave of Delights ashen-faced.

“No access!” they squeaked, panic glowing from their daylight-starved eyes. “We’ve been cut off!”.

Well, that’s new twitter.  Normally Cave Dweller can guess by volume of our tweets against volume of tweets overall when Grimlings are going to hit TTs.  Last night, their software couldn’t get access to twitter.

No mind, no matter, thought I, we shall just use the common or garden online software.  NUHUH.  That couldn’t get access either.  Twitter, you cruntnocker, why do you change your system so?  And at trending time too.  That’s evil and bad (although it has wound Cave Dweller up to a state of near apoplexy, so good work fella.  No Printouts of Doom for them to wave insolently in my beautiful visage).

Just as Big Boss opened the second bottle of Pinot Grigio ready to sent the Emergency Trend, up popped AidenGrimshawSongs in the TTs.  It managed an hour in there all told, which is bloody excellent seeing as most of the trenders collapsed in a heap exhausted once it hit TTs. (Remember the days of 3 hours plodding away until we hit the trends, twitter?  Well you can shove those where the iPod don’t work my dear, yes you can.  Just like me and Marcellaux and a very entertaining bar in the Mississippi Delta that we mistakenly left without settling the exorbitant bill, we’re not going back there).

So, here we are twitter me old mucker me old pal.  Do you know where we are? One day closer.  One day closer to the end of the tour.  One day closer to the day we have been waiting for and working for since 15 December.  One day closer to the day when we know that soon we will be firing up our iPods, a bit sick with anticipation, nerves and excitement.  One day closer.  When not if.  WHEN NOT BLOODY IF!!!!

Yes.  When not if.  We’ll tweet the vote later, and see you tonight at 6 for the trend.

SIGN AIDEN GRIMSHAW