Trend Review Wednesday 2 February

An Open Letter to the Great God twitter

Dear twitter,

Did ya miss me?  Because I missed you twitter.  About as much as I miss cystitis.  While I was away screaming at cats and pulling the petals off roses you pretty much rolled over and played dead, dintcha twittaah?  We hit our 50th consecutive day of trending yesterday and I celebrated, oh yes I did.  Woke up on a cross-channel ferry with a tattoo of a pair of Kaboom pants on my ass.  Looks good, but I ‘m gonna have fun explaining that one to my doctor, twitter, got to tell you the truth there. No idea how it happened either.  So, I took the celebrations a little bit easier tonight as we hit our 60th trend.  60.  We’re pensioners, twitter.  And you treat us so badly.  It’s not fair.

Glad that you kept the horror behaviour to a minimum today, twitter, because the Grimlings were feeling a wee bit, how we say, fragile.  Can’t really rant about it too much, because as a sore spot if 1 is the beginning of a small pimple, this one is a giant wound worthy of “Embarrassing Illnesses”.

BUT TWITTTAAAAAH, even though Grimlings felt like they’d been stuffed in a sack and beaten with sticks and were ready to take to the streets with fiery torches in protest, they still trended.  In less than an hour Grriimshaw Record hit the top trends and did stay there, oh yes it did. And we will keep on trending and adding random vowels and consonants to perffecctllyy serrrviceabbble words until we get our aim.  Because all we need is a glimpse of a quiff or a pair of geek glasses; or a view of Maiden, and we remember what it’s all about.

See you tomorrow twitter.  And the day after that and the day after that.  We are going to keep on,

Love is all around me, but it bloody shys away from you twitter

The Grimlings

We want to know more about that tattoo.  Good work today Grimlings, it has been a monumentally crappy day; buoyed up only by #maidenmaywedding and #showerofmaiiden talk.  Have a great night, thanks to MrsTapster for the shout out, thank you as well to everyone who has tweeted us nice things.  See you tomorrow.